Thursday, June 19, 2008

Interjections Show Excitement or Emotion Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah... YEA!

Breaking News: I, Oh Frappe, have an interview at. . .

wait for it. . .

just wait. . .

this is really good. . .

pinky swear. . .

H

A

R

V

A

R

D

Yes, that Harvard.
I am beside myself with excitement and emotion.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Just Wishing & Hoping & Thinking & Praying

I guess it's safe to say I'm mildly obsessed with work right now. By "mildly" I mean "totally." And by work I mean some other job than the one I actually have because it is sure to be more lucrative, glamorous, and down right rewarding. So, I've complied the following list of well-I'll-be-ain't-that-the-darndest-thing jobs. And because I want to savor the dirty shenanigans I imagine these "professions" entail, I'm only including the job titles. Ready, set, GO:

Muppet stunt coordinator

Laughter therapist

Master sniffer

Taffy Puller

Chicken sexer

Wrinkle Chaser

Cowpuncher

Brain picker

Fantasy broker

Queen producer

Upsetter

Hooker Inspector

Rubbish Auditor

For the record, any job that involves muppets instantly earns my seal of approval. Brains? Not so much.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Clean out Vivienne Westwood in My Galliano Gown

I'm not one for writing multiple posts in a single day. But I almost passed out reading this.
Kid, you're making me look bad.

I'm a Loser Baby so Why Don't You Kill Me

It's official. I am pathetic.

The very first job that catches my eye this morning highlights all that is wrong with my life. I was blind but now I see. And, frankly, I want to be blind again.

WANTED: Admin Assistant for Publishing Co - 35k

That is an annual salary of $35,000 to start which is only $6000 less than what I earn. Correction: I mean earned prior to the total screw that shall not be named. $35,000. To. Start.

I have a Master's Degree. I have YEARS of experience. And I am barely making more money than an assistant? Seriously?

I suppose I should thank
Craigslist for my opening eyes. But I really just want to punch it instead.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

My Man Wants To Potty All The Time

Imagine my horror to come home and find my husband reading this on the Internet. The man had NOTHING better to do then read an article about a potty training boot camp!?! Oh how the mighty have fallen.

But just so he doesn't feel like I'm a disinterested, know-it-all, I read the article too. Low and behold, I find this is yet another missed career opportunity. It seems the Potty Whisper charges $250 for a session which means if she works with ten toddlers a week she pulls in a cool $2500. Well done, Potty Whisper, well done. I have GOT to figure out how to put my natural talents to work and get a gig like this.